Avoid 6 Parenting Mistakes That Damage Your Child’s Self-Worth And Ability To Thrive As An Adult

Dear Parent,

If you want to raise kids that become resilient, capable and confident adults (and not constantly second-guess your parenting approach in the process) then this is going to be the most important message you read all day – and will change the way you parent forever.

The very fact that you’ve landed on this page indicates that you’re already a good parent.

That you want to do what’s best for your kids.

You want to help them become happy, well-rounded, responsible and self-assured adults.

The problem is that some of the things you might do to parent your kids in the short-term – such as disciplining them – may actually work against what you really want for your kids in the long-term, such as them having the ability to regulate their emotions and succeed in life.

Here’s a common example…

If your kids are doing something you don’t want them to do, you may tell them to stop.

Or put them in a time-out.

Or threaten to take away privileges and then follow through if they persist in misbehaving.

Or yell at them to get their attention.

Or tell them they’re okay and to stop overreacting.

In the short-term, these tactics may work to get your kids to stop whining, do their homework, get in the car, share their toy with their sibling, or brush their teeth before bed.

In the long-term, however, these parenting approaches may actually be harming them.

Here’s how…

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How Short-Term Parenting Techniques Cause Real Harm In The Long-Run

Let’s say your child screams “no!” because she doesn’t want to leave the playground, so you keep giving her 5 more minutes, and then another 5, and another.

When you insist that it’s time to go, she cries and screams.

Her being upset is upsetting to you, so you tell her, “If we leave now, we can go get ice cream! How does that sound?”

She stops crying and gladly gets in the car because she loves ice cream.

In the short-term, you’ve avoided a full-blown meltdown by giving in to your child’s demands or by distracting her from her big feelings of upset by promising to get ice cream.

However, in the long-term, she’s failed to develop her “disappointment muscles.”

The minute she felt anything other than pleasure or contentment, you stepped in and “fixed” it for her.

She never has to deal with her discomfort at not getting what she wants all the time and right away.

She learns that whining, pouting, complaining are all valid forms of manipulating people to give her what she wants.

Therefore, when she grows up she can’t handle setbacks or blames others when things go wrong instead of taking responsibility for her life. As an adult, she has trouble regulating her emotions when things don’t go her way.

Why Fixing, Helping and Rescuing Are Hurting Them In The Long-Term, Too

Here’s another example that you may relate to…

Your child forgets to bring their lunch to school.

You don’t want them to suffer with hunger all day so you take time out of your day to bring them their lunch.

You think you’re being loving and helpful. You believe you’re supposed to help your child when they’re in trouble or need something.

That’s what you think being a parent is all about!

And that’s why the next time they need help, you’re there for them.

You drive them to school when they miss the bus.
You play referee when they have a disagreement with their sibling.
You chew out their teacher for giving them an unfair grade.
You immediately replace their favorite toy when they accidentally break it.

You do this because you can’t stand to see your child struggle or suffer. You want to make him or her feel better and to “fix” the problem.

In the short-term, you accomplish that.

They don’t go hungry, they get to retake a test, they turn in their school project on time, and they don’t have to go without their favorite toy (or cell phone or video game, etc) for too long.

But what you’re actually teaching your child in the long-term is NOT that you’re a loving, caring, supportive parent.

You’re training them to not take responsibility for themselves, and you’re sending them the unconscious message that love means having someone do things for you.

Essentially, you’re training them to feel incapable. As adults, they may become entitled, narcissistic or unable to set goals and achieve them without a great deal of struggle or resistance. Or they will struggle with anxiety, unable to cope with everyday adult challenges and responsibilities.

These are just two of the most common – yet unintentional – mistakes most parents make, let’s take a look at the rest…

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It’s Not Your Fault… Most Parents Believe These Mistakes Are Effective Parenting Approaches

Perhaps after reading this, you’re thinking, “Yikes, I do all of these things… am I a bad parent?”

The short answer is: no, you’re not!

So drop the guilt right now – most parents unintentionally make some, if not all, of these 6 mistakes.

The thing is, you’re just doing what you think is correct and loving.

You probably thought you were doing the right thing by disciplining or punishing them, by preventing their disappointment and suffering, or by fixing things for them.

Plus, it’s very common just to repeat what you saw growing up and the way you were raised.

Or, you do the exact OPPOSITE of what your caregivers did if you didn’t like the way they raised you.

And let’s face it…

These types of parenting approaches are often considered normal, reasonable ways to get your kids to step up or behave.

When your kids don’t cooperate, or if they struggle, it’s easy to think that your kids are just being unruly, lazy or stubborn.

Or you worry that you’re being inconsistent, so you double-down on the punishments or step in and help them out even more.

The reason you think what you’re doing works is because most of the time you get the intended result:

• Your kids clean up their mess
• They stop hitting their siblings
• They get good grades
• They say “please” and “thank you”
• They stop talking back
• They cheer up or stop crying
• They don’t make you late
• They are your best friend
• They don’t misbehave
• All your friends and neighbors are impressed
• And so on…

But what you don’t realize is that in the long-term NONE of the above things predict a child’s future happiness or ability to thrive.

That’s why it’s critical to learn how to avoid the common parenting traps we ALL fall into at times so you can get the results you want NOW while also raising children who will grow up to be happy, capable adults.

And that’s why we’ve developed a program that compiles the very best advice we could find from the world’s top experts to help you understand and address this very important topic.

Introducing “Parenting Traps”: Be a More Effective Parent NOW And Raise Confident, Capable Adults In The FUTURE

Parenting Traps is an eye-opening 4-hour program containing 6 powerful interviews with some of the world’s top parenting experts.

In these interviews, each expert reveals the major “mistakes” just about every parent makes that causes their children to grow up with negative, destructive beliefs about themselves – and that prevents them from having the resilience, capability and confidence to truly thrive in life.

But more importantly, you’ll get top-level insights and invaluable tools from all 6 parenting experts, each with decades (sometimes 40+ years!) of clinical or professional experience and expertise in their field, including dozens of actionable tips, word-for-word scripts and invaluable advice that’ll help you feel more effective as a parent.

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And you’ll learn what you can do right NOW to ensure your kids grow up to be confident, happy, capable adults who know they’re worthy of love, success and acceptance.

Impactful, Actionable “AHAs” With Key Take-Aways You Can Start Implementing With Your Kids TODAY

We know you’re a busy parent and you don’t have a lot of time to waste. We appreciate how stressful and exhausting parenting can be.

That’s why we designed the program to be as impactful and actionable as possible.

You’ll learn key takeaways from each interview that you can apply the same day and watch as your children learn, change and make positive shifts in how they see themselves – and how they see YOU as their parent.

You’ll feel more effective each day you put the tips and learnings into practice, and your kids will feel more loved, acknowledged and supported.

Here’s What’s Included With This Program:

• 6 in-depth interviews with parenting experts discussing a topic they’ve specialized in for years (sometimes decades!)
• A download that summarizes the key takeaways from each interview so you have a quick reference for action steps
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Let’s Take A Look At Our 6 Parenting Experts

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Why You Should Buy Parenting Traps Right Now

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So the question is…

Do you really want to continue to struggle and worry that you don’t have the tools to deal with tantrums, slamming doors and when your kids come to you with a bigger problem that’s rocked their self-confidence.

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Successful parenting takes a long view.

Rather than focusing on short-term “good behavior” – focus on raising capable, empowered kids who can successfully transition into adulthood.

What you model and teach, the beliefs you nurture, how you manage your emotions and validate theirs… these are some of the most precious, important gifts you give your kids – and yourself.

Look, as parents, you’re going to make mistakes. There’s no way around it.

But the good news is that mistakes are not failures. They’re a part of life.

– Instead of beating yourself up, value mistakes as opportunities to learn, for yourself and your kids

– Instead of punishing your kids or doing the work for them, teach your kids how to come up with effective solutions to make things right

– Instead of telling them they’ll be okay, show them how to persevere and feel strong even when things aren’t okay

You can show them that you cherish and love them AND give them the tools and skills they need to successfully navigate the world.

That’s the most important job in the world, and the most difficult. But it’s rewarding beyond measure.

Your Friends at Flourish