You Met A Nice Guy Who Doesn’t Leave You Breathless… If You Continue Seeing Him, Are You Settling?

by Evan Marc Katz

Have you ever wondered if you’re just too picky about the men you date?

Despite your best efforts, you still haven’t found The One.

Your friends tell you that you’re a great catch and any man would be lucky to have you.

Nice compliment, but where does that leave you?

The men who are into you have something lacking.

They’re nice, but you just can’t imagine dating a guy who doesn’t leave you excited. Giddy. Breathless.

And when you DO finally find a man you fall for, it’s just a matter of time before you discover his fatal flaw that prevents you from being together in the long run:

He’s a terrible communicator. He’s emotionally unavailable. He’s just plain selfish.

While you my have it together in other areas of your life—health, career, friends—for some reason, your love life feels completely out of your control.

Everyone you want, doesn’t want you.

And everyone who wants you is someone you don’t want.

But since you don’t want to end up single forever, you’ve started to wonder:

Should you settle?

What Settling Really Looks Like (It’s Not What You Think)

What does settling mean to you?

Maybe it means meeting a man who seems like a decent, kind person and deciding he’s “good enough."

Maybe it’s forcing yourself to continue dating a man who doesn’t inspire you.

Maybe it’s committing to a man who’s steady, but who doesn’t make you feel on fire with lust every time he leans in to kiss you.

There’s no right answer. But there is a way to learn from your past.

Remember the last guy who broke your heart.

Sure, the initial euphoria felt amazing, but as a result, you swept a whole lot of bad behavior under the rug—and didn’t even realize it until it too late.

Didn’t you spend way too many nights analyzing what you did to make him leave?

Have any of the times you felt intense lust resulted in a stable, happy, long-term relationships?

I’m guessing that they haven’t.

Look, I’m not anti-chemistry, no more than I’m anti-alcohol, but we can both admit that too much booze has the potential to affect your judgment and decision-making, right?

All I’m pointing out is that while chemistry is an incredible feeling, it is in no way a solid predictor of your future.

It’s literally just a feeling.

And if you’re constantly anxious, worried, and upset because of a man’s bad behavior, aren’t you, in fact, talking yourself into an unhappy relationship?

Maybe that agitation is your gut saying, there’s something wrong here.

After all…

He doesn’t feel like your best friend.

You can’t let down your guard.

You can’t share your feelings without being judged or causing a fight.

Which tells me something you may find surprising:

You know the feeling you have when you’re “in love" but you can’t relax around a guy?

THAT is the definition of “settling"!

What Happens When You Put Compatibility Over Chemistry

Ask yourself if you want to be in yet another relationship that compromises your peace of mind.

No?

Then I have an alternative approach that is incredibly effective: putting TRUE compatibility over chemistry.

My program, Date Without Heartbreak: 10 Incredibly Common Mistakes That Keep Great Women Single will show you how to appraise a man based on his ability to make you insanely happy in the long run, not based on fleeting emotions.

In Chapter 1 of the eBook/audio, you’ll learn what you SHOULD look for in a partner if you want to find love that lasts.

As a dating and relationship coach, I’ve seen and heard enough stories to know what really makes a relationship special and lasting. I’ll give you a clue: it’s NOT the “incredible chemistry" that can often happen in the first few months of dating.

You won’t be settling if you meet a man, and 20 years later, you’re both genuinely happy together.

When I first met my wife, I thought she didn’t have the qualities I used to consider must-haves. In other words, she was the opposite of ME.

I was an East Coast Jewish liberal who was book-smart, ambitious, and opinionated. She was a West Coast Catholic conservative who was people-smart, content, and easygoing.

Eleven years and two kids later, my love for my wife is so much deeper and more meaningful than any anxiety-filled short fling that left me breathless in the past.

I’m really happy. I want you to be happy, as well.

I want to help you create a relationship that’s equally real and deeply gratifying.

Warmest wishes and much love,

Your friend,

P.S. Some guys do things that can understandably bring up a lot of anxiety in you. He asks you out but doesn’t follow up before a date. Or he doesn’t call for a week. How do you get the message across to a man that what he’s doing isn’t cool?

In Date Without Heartbreak: 10 Incredibly Common Mistakes That Keep Great Women Single, you’ll learn how to take control of your love life with actions that put YOU in the driver’s seat but don’t come across as bitchy, bossy, or desperate.