by Carol Allen
Are you the girl who’s still missing a man after what seems like an eternity?
Whether it was a two-year relationship or two dates, you just can’t get past it.
You replay EVERYTHING—from how you met and the incredible chemistry you felt to the crushing finale when you felt him slipping away.
And you can remember the exact words he said at all the critical points along the way, as if your mind were a cruel little computer that plays memories in an endless loop to torture you.
Yikes…(cue the sound of crashing cars about now.)
You’ve told the “story” so many times to your friends that they can’t believe you’re still talking about this.
Sometimes, YOU can’t believe you’re still talking about it. And remembering the good times. And avoiding places you went with him.
You’re sick of it, you’re exhausted, and you want relief. You don’t want to keep obsessing.
But, somehow, it feels like you can’t do anything about it. As if your response is out of your control.
Why You Take Things Oh So Hard (Even When He’s Been Awful)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million times:
There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just more sensitive than most people (I like to call you, “soulfully sensitive”).
We ALL have our strengths and weaknesses…
Soulfully sensitive women have a greater capacity for emotion and diving deep into life. When it comes to breakups or romantic disappointment, you’ll tend to agonize and analyze much more than others. You process and process like nobody’s business.
This is because you’re also an “externalizer,” meaning you think that whatever is happening out there is a reflection of you.
So you’re always asking yourself things like:
“How can I make my life better?”
“How is this my fault?”
“Did I do something to push him away?”
When someone is in a bad mood or just “off,” you immediately conclude it must be because of something you said or did, and you want to fix it—now.
In essence, you HATE feeling disconnected.
Breakups Are The Ultimate “Fix It” Project For You
Since you can’t stand emotional disconnection, breakups feel just terrible…
How can someone you felt so bonded with—and physically connected to—just be out of your life?
This makes no sense to your brain, even if you KNOW it wasn’t a healthy relationship for you. Your innate need for connection overrides your intellect and keeps you stuck trying to figure a way out of this hell.
And, here’s the kicker—your deep desire for relationship and connection means that as long as you stay stuck on the other guy, it’s almost as if you’re still having a relationship with him.
Get it? You’re keeping the connection alive in a warped way. Even though he’s no longer in the picture, your over-active imagination and strong feelings trick you into feeling you’re not alone.
And then, to make matters worse, keeping your heart and mind stuck on this old connection means you’ll sit on a shelf, not dating or meeting anyone else, much longer than other women. You’re simply not available for another relationship.
Which is a shame, and sometimes a downright tragedy…costing you your dreams of having a family, or living the life you want.
Release The Past And Step Into Your Amazing Future
Now, this might seem all doomsday. How can you cope as a soulfully sensitive woman? How can you move through this life without being on a rollercoaster of emotion? How can you ever hope to get off the dating treadmill and fall into the arms of the one man who will adore you forever, if you can’t seem to get unstuck from that one bozo from your past?
Being soulfully sensitive may seem like a curse. But it’s actually an incredible blessing!
Like everything, it can work for you or against you. You just have to learn how to use it in your favor.
When it’s working against you, it can knock your confidence and make you feel like you’ll never get things right, robbing you of all motivation to date.
But when it’s working FOR you, you can channel all that sensitivity and the gift of connection into living your best life and creating the epic romance you were born for.
That’s where I come in. I’ve spent over 2 decades(!) helping soulfully sensitive women like you get your mojo back after a heartbreak, even if you’ve been dwelling on that lost love for a looooong time.
I’ve partnered with Flourish to help women like you get out of the “negative narcissism” loop–the belief that you’re so special (in a bad way), that you’re doomed to die alone (even though the vast majority of us DO marry!). And you can get more of my advice… for FREE… when you subscribe to our dating and relationship newsletter.
I’ll help you go from thinking of dating as an activity about as pleasurable as mopping floors or doing your taxes into feeling EXCITED about the prospect of meeting men and trying out your new flirting skills.
You’ll get tips on how to take care of your heart when you’re dating (so you don’t become a victim of another jerk) and how to rejuvenate and replenish yourself between dates.
So, join me by subscribing to Flourish’s free love and dating newsletter. You’ll get access to handpicked experts (like me!) giving you our best insights and strategies to find love and have the relationship of your dreams. You’ll learn:
- What “amazing dates” really mean—especially if you’ve had a date where the conversation flowed, you clicked on so many levels, and maybe you even slept together.
- What to say—and what not to say—to a man after those “fragile” first dates, as well as how to quickly and easily understand a man’s real intentions about you.
- How to tap into your love power center to create a relationship that lights you up, inspires you, and brings out the best of who you are
- 6 practical strategies to increase your confidence and motivation when you’ve lost faith and want to give up on love
- How to identify the false beliefs that have been sabotaging your ability to create love
- What men need to fall in love, and how to show him you are the women he’s been looking for his whole life
When you sign up to receive this jam-packed newsletter, you’ll see a radical change in the results you’re getting with men and dating, and you’ll learn how to protect your glorious, sensitive heart in the process.
Breakups don’t have to leave you shattered, and they don’t have to rob you of the fulfilling romantic future you so richly deserve. When you learn to date and relate in this way, it won’t matter what you’ve been through.You’ll finally be able to have the love life of your dreams.
Soulfully Yours,
