by Evan Marc Katz
Finally. You had a phenomenal date.
You were physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted. And it was reciprocal.
You know for sure, because he said it:
He couldn’t believe his luck to have met you. He’s excited about you and can imagine a future together. He can talk with you about anything. One day, he wants to get married and have kids.
He said all this while holding your hand and looking deeply into your eyes.
On top of it all, he said you were this amazing mix of adorable and sexy. In fact, he’d never encountered this combination in his whole life. He was literally blown away by you.
The wind must have been blowing really hard, because days later, he was nowhere to be found.
The Curious Case Of The Disappearing Man
Look, I’m not trying to make light of your pain.
The reason I can be so nonchalant about what this guy did to you is because I’ve seen this happen thousands of times to women all over the world.
You might think that the connection you had with that guy was truly special, and you’re scratching your head wondering how there could have been such a sharp turnaround.
Did something you say turn him off? Was he making the whole thing up? How could anyone put up such a convincing act?
But the truth is that it happens all the time. And it’s not an act. It’s just how men are.
That’s why it doesn’t matter what a guy does on a date…
The only thing you should be paying attention to is what he does AFTER the date.
When a man wants something serious with you, you’ll know it.
He’ll call the next day. Quickly set up your next date. Keep his weekends open for you, etc.
You know this. You’ve seen this. You’ve experienced this.
THIS is how men act when they’re really into you. It’s not just talk, it’s ACTION.
Thus, it doesn’t matter if you had the best date in your life; if he left you hanging for a week afterwards without making plans to see you again, that’s all you need to know.
If you understand this, you can change your entire dating experience.
You can date in a way that lessens the roller coaster of getting your hopes up only to have everything come crashing down. And you can approach dating in a way that allows you to finally meet the guy who’ll come along for the whole ride.
But before we get to that, let me answer the one question that’s really been bugging you:
What The Hell Was He Thinking?
It’s easy to assume that men are con artists who like to game women.
It’s natural to think we just love the thrill of the chase, get bored, and move on to the next victim.
But although those men exist and it’s a gratifying answer, it’s just not that simple.
I’m one of those guys who came on strong only to later make a quick and surprising exit.
Yet, if you ask my wife (and most of the women I dated), I’m not a liar, player, or a jerk.
That means there’s a lot going on beneath the surface—for all of us.
Haven’t you ever plunged into an exciting and passionate relationship—without really knowing the person, only to discover after a few weeks or months that you made a mistake?
I did, too. Probably about a dozen times. I hated hurting these women but I also hated the fact that I was so bad at assessing our compatibility.
I had to turn over a new leaf and move slower in order to make better decisions.
You do, too.
Good guys do baffling, hurtful things all the time—not because we intend to lead you on, but because we’re really just being in the moment.
One day he’d like to be married to someone. But it doesn’t mean now, and it doesn’t necessarily mean with you. Yes, even if you’re the beautiful woman holding his hand as he says it.
Does he like you? Yes, absolutely.
But he isn’t thinking long term with you yet. He’s just thinking out loud. In general.
I know this is really hard to wrap your mind around, because you don’t operate this way.
You don’t compliment a guy if you don’t think he’s great.
You don’t sleep with a guy if you don’t care about him.
You don’t bring up a future with a guy who is only Mr. Right Now.
Guys say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict their future feelings.
The Only Way To Tell If He’ll Stick Around
You can get yourself into a lot of trouble by thinking a man will—and expecting a man to—approach dating like you do.
You will continuously be disappointed, feel like a victim, and conclude you have no control whatsoever over what happens in your love life.
And that’s the best way of ensuring you’ll stay alone forever.
Let’s look at the facts:
There is utterly no correlation between what a man says on a date and what he feels in his heart.
You can choose to resist this statement, rebel against it, or throw your hands up in the air and give up.
Or you can do what women who are successful in love do:
Accept that men operate differently from you and use this knowledge to your advantage.
The best way to protect yourself from disappearing guys is to:
a) understand how men approach dating, and
b) date in a way that allows you to find one guy who will stick around.
Lucky for you, that’s my specialty. I’ve spent 15 years as a dating and relationship coach, and helped thousands of women find love (even after years… or decades… of heartbreak and frustration).
I’ve partnered with Flourish to help women like you learn the truth about men, so you can stop making the same mistakes that push love away. And you can get more of my advice… for FREE… when you subscribe to our dating and relationship newsletter.
When you subscribe, you’ll get access to handpicked experts (like me!) giving you our best insights and strategies to find love and have the relationship of your dreams. You’ll learn:
- What “amazing dates” really mean—especially if you’ve had a date where the conversation flowed, you clicked on so many levels, and maybe you even slept together.
- What to say—and what not to say—to a man after those “fragile” first dates, as well as how to quickly and easily understand a man’s real intentions about you.
- How to tap into your love power center to create a relationship that lights you up, inspires you, and brings out the best of who you are
- 6 practical strategies to increase your confidence and motivation when you’ve lost faith and want to give up on love
- How to identify the false beliefs that have been sabotaging your ability to create love
- What men need to fall in love, and how to show him you are the women he’s been looking for his whole life
When you sign up to receive this jam-packed newsletter, you’ll see a radical change in the results you’re getting with men and dating.
So before you replay in your mind all the romantic words he said to you and try to pinpoint the exact moments you might have turned him off, please do yourself a favor get the insights you need to have the love life you’ve been dreaming of. Your love life will change… starting today.
Warmest wishes and much love,
Your friend,
