Dealing with betrayal in your relationship doesn’t have to mean breaking up or getting a divorce. While it may be hard to understand how you’re partner could betray you, it’s important to remember both of you can heal from any type of betrayal through 3 easy steps.
The day you learned of your partner’s betrayal was probably devastating. You struggled with your painful feelings, and you may have pondered ending the relationship. You may be surprised to learn that betrayal doesn’t necessarily mean you have to end the relationship. Dealing with betrayal starts with understanding the reason behind the betrayal.
Like any kind of abuse, whether it be alcohol, or drugs, betrayal behavior stems from inner emptiness.
When we feel inner emptiness, we look to someone else to fill that void. This can lead to cheating, lying, or emotional betrayal. Betrayal can present an opportunity for the person who has cheated, as these kinds of behaviors force a reckoning of what’s missing and what needs to be done in order to heal the inner emptiness.
Dealing With Betrayal Can Be an Opportunity for Self Improvement
The day you learned of your partner’s betrayal was probably devastating. You struggled with your painful feelings, and you may have pondered ending the relationship. You may be surprised to learn that betrayal doesn’t necessarily mean you have to end the relationship. Dealing with betrayal starts with understanding the reason behind the betrayal.
Like any kind of abuse, whether it be alcohol, or drugs, betrayal behavior stems from inner emptiness.
When we feel inner emptiness, we look to someone else to fill that void. This can lead to cheating, lying, or emotional betrayal. Betrayal can present an opportunity for the person who has cheated, as these kinds of behaviors force a reckoning of what’s missing and what needs to be done in order to heal the inner emptiness.
3 Steps Towards Healing
According to our relationship expert, Dr. Margaret Paul, rather than let the devastation ruin you or your commitment to each other you can take a different approach and use the lessons from the betrayal to make your relationship stronger.
Here are the 3 steps towards healing after dealing with betrayal she recommends:
- Let go of negative feelings — Getting stuck in feelings of deep pain like heart break or helplessness can be unhealthy. Too often we blame ourselves for not seeing the signs of betrayal before they take place. By being kind and gentle to yourself you’ll allow yourself to let go of negative feelings, freeing yourself to move forward with your partner.
- Learn something from the betrayal — Negative experiences like betrayal can provide some of our most important life lessons. It’s an opportunity to learn about the needs or feelings we ignored in ourselves, or the needs we didn’t express to our partner.
- Continue to let go to find acceptance — Getting stuck in the details of what happened and in “what ifs?” can prolong the pain of betrayal unnecessarily. Acceptance of the truth, and of your helplessness over what happened, will help you heal much faster than holding on to negative feelings. Letting go of negativity will allow you to move forward with your partner and connect again.
Instead of ending your relationship after a betrayal, start a whole new relationship with yourself in order to move forward with your partner.
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